Yesterday I caught a 2 ½ foot snake with my bare hands. I know, dumb. REAL dumb. Needless to say, this is quite uncharacteristic of me as I have a strong aversion to most animals (unless they're slathered with barbecue sauce and served on a platter--in which case I'll get obscenely intimate with any species of the animal kingdom—nummy, nummy). Honestly, if you asked me to pick up an earthworm or pet a dog, I'd look for the closest stick to poke at it with.  But for a split second, like Whoopi Goldberg in GHOST, I channeled Steve Irwin's spirit and remembered that grabbing the snake's tail should keep it from biting me. (What I failed to recall was that Steve Irwin met his demise by getting a little too up-close and personal with nature). What was particularly unwise was that I didn't think of what to do with the angry serpent once I had it writhing in my hand. After slowly coming to the conclusion that hurling it into the neighbor's yard like an Olympic hammer-tosser or spinning it over my head like a lasso to make it dizzy, were just more bad ideas, I was finally able to trap it in an empty garbage can. VICTORY!! I was proud of my minor triumph over nature and decided to keep it as a pet; sustaining its life with repulsed love and chicken nuggets.

Currently Watching Black Snake Moan By Samuel L. Jackson, Christina Ricci, Justin Timberlake, S. Epatha Merkerson, John Cothran Jr. see related